WTFIMBC?

the musical

finale

INT. LUCY’S APARTMENT

It’s the Monday after the weekend. About five days since Lucy’s hasn’t taken her birth control.

She doesn’t feel herself, but begins to pick up the pieces of her apartment that got ruined from the “raid” and the weekend. As she brings her overflowing recycling out, she see’s the box her birth control came in and sighs.

Lucy looks at the box longingly as she takes the recycling down the steps.

the tune of And I’m Telling You I’m Not Going from Dreamgirls

EXT. APARTMENT
It’s as if Lucy is the only person in the empty city as she drops off the recycling.

LUCY
And I’m telling you, I’m not glowin’
You’re the least problematic med
I’ve ever known
There’s no way I’ll ever flow
Without thinkin’ about you

INT. APARTMENT

LUCY
I’m still thinkin’ about you
I don’t want to be free...

Lucy closes the door behind her as she has this realization. Her apartment is dramatic and dark, lit dimly by stage lights (a la Dreamgirls).

LUCY
Im stayin’ (on the pill)
(on the pill) I’M STAYIN

Lucy opens her drawer of meds and touches the spot where her birth control would be.

LUCY
And you and you
You’re gonna numb me

Lucy googles the symptoms of going off the pill (including not getting your period).

LUCY
And I’m tellin’ you, I’ll stop flowin’
Rough times are already showin’
There’s just no way
There’s no way

Lucy gets a ping on her laptop, Google Calendar “Pick Up Dry Cleaning.” She rushes to leave.

LUCY
You help me maintain peace.
You tell me when it’s time.
It’d be worse without you.
And I’d still lose my mind.

EXT. STREETS
Lucy, in a full Dreamgirls outfit, struts. She pictures all the places her and her Birth Control have been together- college, ex-boyfriends’ places, vacations, slyly taking it during a funeral.

LUCY
And years and years we’ve had so much to see...
no, no, no, no, no, no

The “no, no, no” overlaps with Birth Control singing no, no, no. We don’t see where it is, just in a dark space singing the ballad.

BIRTH CONTROL
You’re not wakin’ up tomorrow morning
And not findin’ Estrostep’s not there

Whatever dark space Birth Control is in, starts moving. It stands it’s ground singing the solo.

BIRTH CONTROL
Lucy, there’s no way,
no no no no way,
You’re livin’ without me
You’re not livin’ with out me
You see, I’m the least worst
The least worst...

INT. DRY CLEANERS
Lucy looks dismayed at Dry Cleaner Owner, who hands her a baggie of what was in her pockets, sans birth control.

LUCY
Well tear through those clothes!
Search all about
You can say it’s not there
I’m not walkin out...

Lucy goes behind the counter, desperate.

LUCY
Stop the conveyor
Everyone stay still
I won’t leave till it’s found
There’s no way I will!

Lucy is kicked out of the Cleaners.

EXT. LUCYS APARTMENT
Dry Cleaner Son gets off the city bus, school backpack slung over him, where in which Birth Control continues to sing.

BIRTH CONTROL
I’m not going
You’re a wild betch, that needs me
There’s no way I’d ever leave
No, no there’s no way
No, no, no, no way you can live without control

Dry Cleaner Son drops Birth Control in Lucy’s mailbox. Sad to be parting ways, but with a new found understanding of women.

DRY CLEANER SON
You require birth control
Sadly, girls can’t be free

He closes the mailbox.

BIRTH CONTROL
I’m stayin’, I’m stayin’
And you and you
You’re gonna find me
You’re gonna find me

Music fades out

In the distance, Lucy walks toward her house. Dry Cleaner Son runs to catch the next bus.

INT. BUS
Dry Cleaner Son sits by the window.
Tune of I’m Just Bill

DRY CLEANER SON
It’s just a pill
Yes, it’s only a pill
But it does a lot of women goodwill

Dry Cleaner son watches Lucy open her mailbox then jump up and down with excitement.

DRY CLEANER SON
It’s a long long journey
For girls from twelve to fifty
It’s a rough tough way
Even after their puberty

Dry Cleaner Son passes a Planned Parenthood where religious freaks protest.

DRY CLEANER SON
Maybe I’ll create a law some day
A more convenient way, for B.C
To be healthy and easy and free.

*Dry Cleaner Son grows up and makes a law for more funding for birth control, and a system that makes access to it easier (and free for those without insurance, and those who may accidentally lose a pack).*

INT. LUCY’S APARTMENT
Lucy and Birth Control back together. Tune of Breaking Free from High School Musical

LUCY
We’re joinin, reuniting
There’s not a chance in hell
I’ll let you flee

BIRTH CONTROL
If we’re not lying,
You might lose me

Birth Control seems unsure and sad.

LUCY
You know I now can see us,
How important you are to me and her

Lucy motions to her vagina.

BIRTH CONTROL
No more space between us
I’m ready to enter

LUCY AND BIRTH CONTROL
Cause our make, it gives us strength
Strength to not conceive…

Birth Control nods to Lucy. She pops out some of the pills. Birth Control becomes less “alive.”

LUCY
I’m taking three!

BIRTH CONTROL
She’s soaring!

Lucy dances around her apartment, she takes out her phone.

LUCY
Sexting!

LUCY AND BIRTH CONTROL
There’s not a dick in miles that we can’t reach

BIRTH CONTROL
Use protection
There’s still STD’s

LUCY
Oh right, STDs

A couple days pass of Lucy back on her birth control, back to being herself.

LUCY
Can you feel it coming?
Like a wave the sea can somewhat control.

Lucy is at the end of the pack. She’s starts to feel the symptoms of her period coming but welcomes it.

BIRTH CONTROL
Guided by my being
Ohhh, it’s taken my soul

LUCY
Your beautiful soul.

Lucy takes the last pill. Birth Control is wilting away as she goes to throw it out.

LUCY AND BIRTH CONTROL
Parting ‘till it is next month
And a new you comes to be

Birth Control goes into the trash can. Lucy looks in the mirror and raises her hand up in triumph.

LUCY
I’m liking me!

a couple of days later…

EXT. CITY STREETS
Mirror the first scene of the women walking down the street. Except instead of “orphan” type wear, they’re in vibrant, broadway outfits.

tune of Greatest Show plays

BACKGROUND MUSIC
Woah woah woah woah

Lucy leads them to CVS to pick up their next three months of birth control. They enter with great force and showmanship, skipping the line.

LUCY
Colossal we come these empresses
on the rag
For as long as we bleed, we’ll keep securing the bag

The pharmacist is shocked at the ambush of women performing like a circus. In a fluster, they toss the box shaped- bags to the women.

ALL THE WOMEN
Don’t fight it, we’re overcoming,
and accepting
It’s up to us women, to take care
of everything
It’s costing, exhausting, and
I think you all know
Can’t surrender cause we’re reigning
and we run the show

INT. VARIOUS APARTMENTS
Show the women at their apartments- each of girls in the beginning dealing with their own shit.

We see: Lucy navigating her mess and drawer of pills- her system is chaotic but works for her.
Rose swiping on Hinge as she drinks wine.
Gwen giving Frank the finger behind his back.

WOMEN
Where it’s covered in all of Lucy’s clothes
Where the bio clock is consuming Rose
The asshole that Gwen dates, even she hates
Oh, these our are greatest woes!

We see Aries Girl working hard, she is scolding one of the guys (who works under her) we saw whispering about her in the beginning. The Sixteen Year old Catholic School girl walks through the halls with a “I just had sex” glow.

WOMEN
She overworks, she broke her vow
But the man can’t bring us down!

The women pop their heads out of their facing second story windows.

WOMEN
“Having it all’s” not true,
long as we get through
WE run the fucking show.

The women close their windows as “the curtain” closes.

the end